Foolish Games.. (17)

As promised! :* Feedback is encouraged! Midterms were major rapeage and I'm not allowing myself to care lana I'm SO glad they're over! This post is 7ag my very special study buddy Noodles aka Joori ;p Anyway yeah, story time? Yes? Ok :D It's a little shorter than usual but I promise another one within the next 2 days, love you guys :*

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"OH. MY. GOD!" Ritaj exclaimed as she jumped excitedly on my bed. "What did you say?!"

I muffled my response through a pillow as I filled her in on my reply to his confession.

"Ha? Speak up I can't hear you!" She ordered as she smacked me with a pillow.

I lifted my head from pillow and repeated, "I said, 'Am I being punk'd?'"

Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth after she let a horrified giggle escape, "You didn't!"

"Don't start, please! I already feel like a big enough idiot, I think I've filled my requirements for the millenium!" I pleaded.

"Awwww baby laiiish?" She asked as she hugged me.

"Madri! Lana I wanted to say it back?" I confessed.

Ritaj's eyes widened even more and I instinctively knew what was coming next. I shot her a warning look to prevent her from saying her inevitable response, needless to say, my warning was completely ineffective.

"AWWWWWWWW!!!!!" She screamed and hugged me tighter, "You're in love with him? How did that happen? WHEN did that happen? How did I not know!"

I tuned her out while I let her come to her own conclusions as she fired one question after another and escaped into my own thoughts. I hated that I couldn't trust his words and let myself bask in the warmth of his quiet, confidently spoken statement. I hated that I had to bottle up my feelings and leave him waiting for me to form a coherent response. Most of all, I hated that I couldn't allow myself to be vulnerable for a millisecond and tell him what was in my heart.


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The Day Before..

"I love you."

I froze. I didn't know what to say. I looked away and stopped breathing and waited for the punchline, for him to take it back, anything! No such luck. The silence stretched out between us, I could feel his gaze burning holes into my head as he patiently anticipated my response. I looked up into his expectant face and offered a lame attempt at lightening the atmosphere.

"Am I being punk'd?" I asked.

He looked at my quizically.

"Punk'd? The tv show thingie? Ashton Kutcher? That 70's Show? Dude, Where's My Car? No? Nothing?"

"I know what punk'd is, I'm just confused about why you'd think I was joking." He clarified. "I meant what I said Ghala. I don't expect you to say it back or anything and I understand if you're not ready, I just.. had to say it."

I bit back a smile. "La walla? Was someone holding up a gun to your head ya3ni?" I asked teasingly.

He smiled at me. A smile filled with tenderness, love and promises. "Actually yeah, you did. Your words, your actions, your character, all the little things that make you who you are. You've had your finger on the trigger since the beginning and I've finally found the common sense to let things be."

His response tugged on my heartstrings and unleashed the sissy within. I felt involuntary tears stinging my eyes and belatedly attempted to blink them back. The attempt proved to be futile and I settled on smacking his arm instead.

"You need to stop saying things like that!" I exclaimed.

He laughed and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulders while he spoke.

"I don't mean to scare you, I really don't even though I know you're thinking of escaping this very moment. And I want you to believe me when I tell you that I don't want you to feel pressured into saying it back. I'd rather it came from you when you felt the time was right rather than you saying it for the sake of doing so."

"I really got lucky with you, didn't I?" I asked as I stared at the tiles on the floor.

I could almost feel the presence of his smile. "Yeah, you did. You better sink your claws into me baby, from what I've been hearing lately, I'm considered a catch!" He teased.

I laughed and playfully smacked him again, "Laygi9oon 3alaik! You should be thankful you have me, madri who else would have the patience to deal with you!" I teased back and faced him, "Besides, you're not going anywhere. You love me, remember?" I asked as I put my arms around his neck.

He smiled and leaned in closer. "It's kinda hard to forget." He whispered as he kissed me. It was a different kiss than our earlier ones. It wasn't passionate, just infinitely sweet. More than anything, it was his way of reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.

"I really have to go now.." He said.

I nodded my understanding and he kissed my forehead before getting up. "Take care of you." I called out.

"You too 7abeebti, I'll call you later tonight if you're still up." He replied.

And just like that he was gone. I sat on that floor for the better part of an hour contemplating how it could've gone differently. What the outcome would've been if I confessed that I did indeed love him back, but I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact I was lucky enough to be loved by him and that stopped me from being capable of doing anything other than smile at the memory of his words.


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"So how long are you going to make him wait?" Ritaj asked curiously as she was stirring the melted ice cream in her bowl.

"I'm not MAKING him wait!" I defended, "I honestly don't know if I can say it back."

"May I make a suggestion?" She asked and continued before she got my permission, "Tell him how you feel! I know you can't help but make comparisons between him and Assface, but they're completely different. Besides you and 3azeez.. you just make sense! I don't know how to explain it! And I've never seen you this happy before, I don't know why you insist on punishing yourself like this!"

"I'm not punishing myself Juju, shako? I want to tell him I really do, I mean I look at him and I just know this is where I'm supposed to be. With him. He smiles and I automatically melt. He speaks and I die a little more everytime." I said as I twisted 3 strands of my hair into a braid, "Everything about him seems to have this gravitational pull on me and I find myself inexorably drawn to him and responding to him, the outcome was inevitable. I love him, I know I do, I feel the words on the tip of my tongue when I'm talking to him! But I open my mouth to say them and I choke everytime." I sighed in despair and fell back against the matress.

Juju mimicked my movement and turned to face me, "I don't know hun, I hope you figure whatever is holding you back from saying it soon. This amazing guy who you're crazy about just told you that he loves you! You shouldn't be feeling this way."

I smiled at how Juju always seemed to dictate the way I should and shouldn't feel/do. I sighed and got out of bed and forced her to do the same.

"Enough procrastination!" I exclaimed and threw a pillow at her, "We've dished, we've ice-creamed and we've self-therapized ourselves, studying time?" I asked.

Ritaj rolled her eyes, "Only cuz you asked SO nicely!" She said as she threw one back at me.

"You're not going to suck me into another pillow fight to avoid studying! Not again!"

"Am I that transparent?" She said as she pouted.

I laughed as I picked up all the pillows and stashed them into my closet, "No, I just know you too well. Yalla let's at least get 3 chapters done 3ashan we meet up with Joori for chocolate shots!"

And just like that I grabbed her full attention, she immediately sat down and opened her books. I felt bad for my white lie and decided to make it happen, I knew there would be hell to pay if I didn't deliver on my promise. Joori confirmed my plan and said she'd pick us up at 6.

I beamed at the sight of Juju reading the accounting book and punching numbers into her calculator. I went to get my book from my stand and turned around to face her. Her face was transformed from the serious mask she had on to a giggling one.

"Since when do you find accounting amusing?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

More laughter.

"Since I remembered that if you punch in 8008, it looks like boob!" She said and disolved into another fit of giggles. "And 55318008 upside down looks like boobless! Remember, G? Remember?"

I sighed, tied my hair up and took 2 tylenols. This was going to be the longest 3 hours ever.