Thursday, April 26, 2012

Foolish Games.. (27)

I don't even know why I'm posting after so long, but I'm sorry :c I didn't even realise it's been over a year since my is-anyone-still-reading post. I get so caught up in things sometimes. *sigh*

ANYWAY. No excuses, but here's a post, so don't hate me too much, okay? Thanks.

Score, a parking space up front! I don't necessarily believe in signs, but this must be a good one. I peered through the tinted windows of the coffee shop and saw him standing by the counter. "What a gentleman." I muttered quietly to myself as I straightened out the wrinkles in my dress and walked in.
"Aww Fahad, you're such a doll, but you didn't have to wait for me to order!"  I cooed with fake-sweetness.

"I actually didn't order yet, I saw you pulling up and got up to wait for you here." he retorted in a matter-of-fact manner, effectively wiping the smug look off my face.

"Oh." I said as I looked away, trying to save face, "I was kidding anyway."

"Uh-huh, I'm sure you were." he replied and looked back at the waitress. "Hi, I'd like a cappuccino please, with soy milk." 

"Watching your weight, princess? have a big recital coming up? Shall I tell the maids to dust your ballet slippers and straighten out your tutu?" I joked, quite pleased with myself.

"For your information, it happens to be better for you and it's the only kind of milk I can stomach." he said as he raised an eyebrow, challenging me to reply.

"Also, I hear it reduces bloating while you're on your period." I added with a wink, "It's okay, it'll be our little secret."

"Wow, you really are a brat." he said with what I'm sure he thought was an irritated look, but his amusement was obvious.

"Fahad!" I exclaimed with a giggle, "stop spoiling me with compliments, not in front of the waitress!" He stared at me with incredulity for a few seconds, then laughed, almost involuntarily.

"Just place your order already."

I skimmed their menu and looked up. "I want something cold, what do you recommend, Joyce?" I asked, quickly reading her name tag.

"Try the ice-blended macchiato ma'am, is very good." She suggested with a smile.

"Then she'll have that, and if you can bring it in a sippy-cup, please, that'd be wonderful." he said with a wink. "She tends to have a lot of accidents."

I pretended to laugh and gasp for air, "Do.. you.. know.. what.. was.. funny.. about that?"

"What?" he asked with an expectant grin.

"This." I said as I elbowed his stomach and smiled as he let out a low groan.

 "Well played." he said as he shook his head.

"Don't mess with me, homeslice." I said as I paid Joyce and walked off to find a table.

I passed by three tables before smiling to myself and settling on one.

"Why didn't you just sit on the first table? Why do women have to make a process out of everything?" he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.

"Don't generalise, it's unbecoming." I admonished, giving him my best stern look, "And if you MUST know, I chose this table 'cause it has male genitalia engraved on the side. It obviously has character."

"You have a lot of character. Characters, in fact. I'm pretty sure I've met several since I first saw you."

"I'm multi-faceted." I stated with a shrug.

"Or just crazy, in non-fancy terms?" he offered.

"Whatever." I replied petulantly.

"I'm just giving you a hard time, I actually do find you quite... interesting." he amended.

"I'm confused, that almost sounded like a compliment!" I gasped.

He laughed and I found myself unwittingly smiling along. "Give me some time to perfect it, I'm not used to being so nice. In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of an asshole." he admitted ruefully.

"Nonsense! In fact, when we first met, I mistook you for a modern real-life manifestation of Prince Charming! Swept me off my feet, yo." I concluded with a sweet smile and batting eyelashes.

"I can do without the sarcasm, thumbelina. I'm trying here." he said earnestly.

"And what is it exactly that you're trying to do?" I asked, the suspicion was ringing off of every syllable.

He shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable. "To get to know you better?" he ventured.

I shook my head disapprovingly. "But why? Dig deeper." I encouraged.

"'Cause I want to ask you out." he admitted, "There's something about you, I don't know what it is. You're annoying, but you constantly make me want to smile. I heard opposites attract and I want to see if it's true."

"Ahh, now we're getting somewhere. You want me to be your relationship guinea pig?" I asked innocently.

"Stop deliberately misunderstanding everything I say." He ordered.

"Uh, yes master? I'm not misunderstanding everything, I'm trying to gather enough information before I pass judgement." I explained.

"Look, you're over-thinking this. I don't want to play your little game anymore, I'm not asking you for all your tomorrows, I'm asking if you feel like there's something here, too." he concluded, putting me on the spot.

My throat suddenly went dry. I'm not used to someone being so authoritative and direct with me. I'm aware that I tend to draw things out and beat around the bush, but I'm used to people catering to my silly whims, not calling me out on my bullshit. I didn't trust myself to speak just yet, so I gave a small nod and felt anticipation team up with adrenalin and race through my veins.

"Good. Now we actually ARE getting somewhere." he said, using my words against me. "Have dinner with me tomorrow night."

"No, thank you." I replied.

"Why not?" he asked patiently.

"'Cause I'm actually not interested in finding out what "this", whatever it is, actually is... If that made sense." I ended lamely.

"Bullshit. Have dinner with me."

"Are you ordering me to?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"No, I'm imploring you." he said with a surprisingly charming smile."Are you seeing someone?"

I shook my head in denial. "Good. So you're having dinner with me?"

"Oh, my God. NO! What is wrong with you, how many times do I have to say "no"? get the picture already!" I snapped.

"Do you plan on having dinner tomorrow night?" he asked, changing approaches.

"Most likely." I replied shortly, upset over his lack of reaction to my little hissy fit.

"Then have dinner with me. It won't be a date unless you decide to name it that sometime during the evening. It doesn't have to mean more than you want it to mean. So, what do you say?" he looked at me expectantly.

I hated it when people were persuasive. I hate it even more when my voice betrays the rest of me and I hear it saying that we would go to dinner with Fahad tomorrow. He picked up my phone, dialed his number and returned my phone.
"Now, you can't run and hide from me." he said with a proud smile.

I finally came to my senses and realised what I agreed to. "Whoa whoa whoa, what just happened?" I asked him, completely puzzled by my confirmation for dinner.

He smirked at me an got up from his seat, "I believe I just won round one. Talk to you soon." he said and walked away, leaving me stunned and staring at the empty door.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Good morrow to all and sundry! *wipes dust off of blog*

I'm aware that I've said this many, many, MANY times before. *sadface*

It's been so bloody long, I've literally forgotten how to ramble. Surely that's a sign leading to the impending apocalypse!

My apologies for the sudden disappearance. I honestly have no other excuse other than a sudden lack of creativity and time.

I'm thinking of writing again, not sure why. Need to find yet another way to procrastinate, it seems. You know, 'cause all the time I waste on World of Warcraft isn't enough already. (Yeh, I play WoW, what of it? Hmph.)

I suppose more than anything, the point of this post is to see how many people are still reading this. So... holla' at me if y'all still be readin' this, yo'. No? Not fitting? Fine.

- Lilo.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Foolish Games.. (26)

I’m sorry it took so long! I’ve been spending so much time reading, totally lost track of everything else :x In my defense, uni starts on Sunday and I won’t have time to read then, or do anything since I did something very smart/stupid with my schedule. Not sure which yet, but yeah. In light of this lack of time-ness, I’ve decided to bless you all with a post (A) I'll try to post when I can, though! Enjoy, yeah? And comment, I had to re-write this twice *sigh* apparently, the teacher knew what she was talking about back in IT classes when she told us to save our work constantly, shocking.


I tapped my foot impatiently as I stared at the clock over the whiteboard with avid interest. Five minutes left. Of all professors available, I had the great misfortune of being stuck with the one who refuses to leave one nanosecond before the time is up. Hate summer classes. Three minutes, thirty seconds. I picked up my pencil and chewed on the eraser, it's a horrible habit but having my ass glued down to a chair for an hour five times a week wasn't exactly a walk in the park either, my fidgety nature refused to allow me to sit still. I substituted the pencil with the pad of my thumb and gnawed at it. Two minutes, here we go. It's not as if I ever broke skin, all I was ever left with is a set of tiny indentations where my teeth have previously been. Very unattractive. One minute to go! I squealed a little internally and suppressed a smile. I synchronized my blinks with the passing of every 5 seconds. 55.. 50.. 45.. 40-

"Ghala, is there anything particularly fascinating on the wall?"

Twenty-nine pairs of curious eyes shifted in my direction, including Yousef's, who looked especially eager to hear my answer. I feigned confusion and he answered by periodically blinking his eyes at five second intervals with a clueless expression on his face. The class erupted in laughter and I felt a sudden rush of heat invading my face. Ass.

"I.. Uh.. My lenses were dry?" I ventured, hoping everyone would divert their attention elsewhere.

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow and I heard a few poorly stifled giggles. "You're wearing glasses." He flatly stated and waited for my response. More laughter. Great. Smooth, Ghala. Real smooth. It seems as though the floor never quite listens to me when I beg for it to open up and to suck me into an alternate universe.

"I.. Ah, what I meant-"

"Sir?" A male voice interrupted, "I'm sorry to interrupt but class is over and I have to get to my next one, can we leave?"

Yousef to the rescue. Did I mention how much I loved that man? A few voices echoed his request and I held my breath.

"Yes, of course. Have a nice weekend everyone." I sighed in relief, packed up my things and left class as fast as I could before he asked any more questions I couldn't answer. Or any I would answer stupidly.

I found Yousef leaning on the wall outside the classroom, "Your lenses were dry?" He asked in an amused drawl.

I felt a blush staining my cheeks again, "Don't you have a class to get to?" I asked haughtily as I walked past him.

"You're welcome." He answered sarcastically. "Where are you off to?"

"Book shopping!" I answered with barely contained glee, "Wanna come with?" I don't know why I even bother asking, I'm always greeted with horrified expressions when I offer.

"Believe it or not, I have better things to do than watch you sniff, fondle and stroke your books."

"I like the way they smell!" I defended indignantly, "And I don't 'fondle and stroke' my books, I feel the texture of the paper. Big difference." I concluded with a pout.

"The answer is still no." He said firmly.

"Whatever, your loss." I said as I childishly stuck my tongue out.

"Hardly!" He returned with a smirk.


I walked determinedly past all the aisles of music, eager to get to my destination. My inner nerd emerged and performed several somersaults at the sight of all the books before me.

I picked up a romance novel and decided to test out Haifa's theory. She thought that as women, we were genetically programmed to open up romance novels and randomly find the "dirty parts". She always said it was a talent we intrinsically possessed. I soon found that her theory proved itself to be true and started giggling as I read on in interest.

I heard someone's coughing interrupting my concentration and I looked up to find a man staring at me with a raised eyebrow. Apparently he had witnessed my little giggling fit and was now looking at me questioningly. I blushed and raised the book back up to hide my face, hoping he would look away. I waited a couple of heartbeats and tried to subtly peek at him from over the book, I was greeted with his smirking face again and I quickly re-adjusted it to cover my eyes.

Now what? I suppose I could put the book down and walk away.. But no. I needed it to cover my face. The heat proved itself to be too oppressive at the beginning of the summer and on impulse, I ended it up getting half of my hair chopped off at the hairdresser's. Admittedly, not my brightest move. I missed it acting as a veil between me and everyone else when I needed it to. It would've been very helpful now, I wanted to get a better look at the guy in front of me and what better way to accomplish that than from behind a curtain of hair?

I chewed my lip indecisively as I debated my next move and decided to grow a pair, figuratively speaking, put the book down, catch a quick glimpse of him and gracefully walk away. As gracefully as my feet would allow me, that is. I put the book down and looked up, only to find him gone. How long had I been debating, anyway? Weird. I turned around to walk away and encountered a wall, or at least what I thought was a wall.

"How about you watch where you're going?" A deep, angry voice suggested.

The apology I was intending to offer vanished and was replaced by annoyance at the stranger's rudeness, "How about you-"

The rest of my response died on my lips as I met the stranger's eyes. It was the same guy from before, I would recognize that eyebrow anywhere, lifted cockily in the same questioning manner as it was earlier. What I hadn't been prepared for though was how attractive he was, or the swift change in my train of thoughts as I stared, quite unabashedly, at his face.

"You were saying?" He said impatiently.

"What?" I asked, finding my voice.

His smirk returned, "You were in the middle of what I'm sure you thought was a scathing retort before you looked up and decided to ogle me instead."

I gasped as his offensive, and quite correct, summation of what just happened. Nothing like the embarrassing truth to catch someone off guard. I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing the accuracy of his rude reply. I will deny it until my dying breath, I vowed.

"Don't flatter yourself." I managed to spit out. Not the most creative comeback but I decided to add a little eye-rolling for dramatic effect and walked away triumphantly. Ha! I was feeling quite pleased with myself until I heard him talking again.

"You might want to take your wallet and phone with you," he said as he gestured to where I forgot them atop the books, "unless you were planning on paying for your books with your more of your witticisms." He added, sarcastically.

"Bite me." I practically snarled as I picked up my things and silently cursed my absent-mindedness.

He laughed mockingly, "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

My face turned a few thousand shades of red as I plugged in the forgotten earphones I had hanging around my neck to block out anything else he had to say, and walked away. I took my iPod out of my pocket and pressed play as I replayed the scene that just happened and by the end of it, I was practically shaking with anger, embarrassment and at the same time, I had the strangest urge to laugh! How bizarre.

I put the compelling stranger out of my head and devoted all my energy and attention to finding books. Forty-five minutes later, I was happily humming as I walked out of Virgin Megastore and headed to get some coffee. I had a long night ahead of me.

I ordered my drink and had to repeatedly assure the waiter that I wanted three extra espresso shots. You work in the coffee business, to think you would've seen it all by now. Or at least sampled the coffee and knew that it was bland, I needed the three shots for it to have any effect at all.

I leaned against a wall as I waited for my order to be up. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and took it out to find a text from Khaled. I smiled as I replied excitedly, he booked his flight back and was coming back next week with a "surprise". I tried to get him to admit what it was but my attempts were futile, not even Mya would help me! I was hoping she would take pity on me and ease my curiosity, no such luck.

"64!" The short Philipino woman called. I picked up my drink and walked towards the exit, trying to balance my drink, wallet and heavy bag of books in one hand while texting Khaled back with the other.

Needless to say, the spilling of my coffee on a poor, unsuspecting stranger was more than inevitable. And to my extreme misfortune, the stranger just happened to be the same guy I had bumped into before. Would this qualify as a good enough entry to post on I wonder.

I gasped in horror and he let out a loud expletive. I hurriedly put my stuff down and attempted to wipe the huge, obvious stain off his white shirt as I apologized profusely. He groaned in frustration as I only seemed to be helping it spread all over the place.

"Are you going to make a habit of this bumping into me thing?" He demanded, furiously.

His anger only fueled my own, I was already berating myself for my inattentiveness and he only made it worse.

"I already apologized, now stop pouting like a baby and get over it! There's no need to be rude and insufferable." I ground out.

"No need to be rude and insufferable?" He echoed my words and looked up at me with incredulity emanating from his eyes. He grabbed the napkins from my hands and took over the task of drying himself off.

I closed my eyes and sighed in exasperation. Let's try this one more time. It was going to physically hurt to be nice to someone so rude, but I suppose it was my fault and I owed him a proper apology. This blows.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I should've been paying attention to where I was going and I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll pay to get your shirt cleaned!" I offered as I took a better look at the damage, "Actually, on second thought, how about I just get you a new one?" I offered as I smiled at him.

He looked at me like I was crazy, shook his head in disbelief and turned his attention back to his shirt. "You're not buying me anything."

He said it in a way that suggested that women weren't allowed to pay for anything. I opened my mouth to let him know what I thought of his chauvinism but apparently he wasn't done shocking me yet.

"But," he paused as he threw the napkins in the nearby trash can and came back to face me, "I do like the idea of you making it up to me, though."

I was almost afraid to ask how but curiosity got the best of me, "What did you have in mind?"

He lifted a corner of his lips in a half-smile at my hesitancy and simply stated, "Have coffee with me."

Now it was my turn to question his sanity. "What?" I asked, completely baffled at his suggestion, "Why?! You haven't had one nice thing to say to me from the second you opened your mouth and now you want to have coffee with me? Are you out of your mind?"

He opened his mouth to talk but I cut him off with a warning glance, "I'm not done yet! Why on earth would I have coffee with you? Why would I even consider it! I don't even know your name. Besides, you're rude, obnoxious, arrogant-"

"And you have absolutely no sense of coordination and you don't quite know when to shut up." He interjected with a genuine smile that left me just a tad bit speechless. "All you've done is prove that nobody's perfect. Even me with my alleged arrogance. Now how about that coffee?"

Maybe I was still stunned by his invitation or his smile, I really couldn't say. And if anyone were to ask me, I don't know how I'd explain my reaction, but before I knew it, I found myself nodding and agreeing to his ludicrous suggestion.

"Good. Not here though, their coffee tastes like piss." He declared as he walked and motioned for me to come with him when I stood still. "Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf okay with you?" He asked as I joined him.

"It's fine." I replied quietly, not sure of what to make of this turnabout in events, "And could we do without the vulgarity, please?"

He shrugged in a noncommittally and we walked side by side to the parking lot in silence as I contemplated how surreal the situation was. I didn't normally do things like this, I'll admit to being too impulsive at times but that rarely ever bordered on stupidity. And that's exactly how I was acting now, stupid. Going to get coffee with a complete stranger. But then again, I've been doing a lot of uncharacteristic things lately.

We reached the parking lot and went in separate ways to get to our cars when he suddenly turned around again.

"It's Fahad, by the way." He called out.


"My name, it's Fahad." He clarified.

"Oh!" I bit back a little smile, "I'm Ghala."

He inclined his head a little in acknowledgment and turned around to make his way to his car. I then let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding in, made my way to my car and smiled, this time without any restraint. Hmm, Fahad.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Foolish Games.. (25)

Greetings! I’m continuing the story 6 months from “the breakup”. This post is basically just to clear things up for you guys! Oh and stop hating me, yeah? Thanks.


*6 months later*

I felt like a fundamental part of me was missing for the longest time, it constantly seemed as if I was reaching for something, only to have it slip through my fingers in the last second. I was never one to dwell on the past, but despite how things ended, my relationship with 3azeez meant too much for me to pretend to be cavalier about it and brush it off as if it were nothing.

Commitment issues. To anyone on the outside, that’s what it must’ve seemed like. I didn’t even know where to begin to clear up those wrongful notions, so I offered noncommittal shrugs and kept to myself. Truth is, I had no problems with commitment, not anymore than the normal person would. Okay, maybe a little more, but what kept me paralyzed with fear was abandonment. I couldn’t very well let him pass up such an amazing opportunity and leave him saddled by my side, wondering what could’ve been. I didn’t have it in me. But it wasn’t completely selfless on my part; I couldn’t let my world revolve around him knowing he might be harboring some resentments towards me that will inevitably tear us apart.

Where would that leave me?

*6 months earlier*

“Wow.” he said and laughed humorlessly. He breathed out and I realized he had been holding his breath since he asked the question. I felt another fresh shot of guilt rushing to my stomach. He loosened his grip on my hand, but didn’t quite let go of it. I stared down at our hands, unable to look at him yet.

“I’m sorry.” I said earnestly, I doubted the words held any significance to him, but it was all I had to offer.

“So am I.” He replied as he stared pensively into the distance.

We both knew it was too late for us, the words had already been put out there, we couldn’t take them back at this point, even if we wanted to. The silence was deafening, I knew I owed him an explanation but didn’t find the correct words to verbalize my reasoning. I knew what he must be thinking and all the misconceptions forming in his head with every silent second that passes, but I just couldn’t bring myself to straighten it out. The damage had been done.

I mustered enough courage to look up and face him. And then our eyes met. And for the merest seconds I felt all my justifications fly out the window. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and take it all back. It was all very cliché but I tried to memorize his face in those few seconds, I knew pictures didn’t do him justice. They weren’t able to capture the intensity of his gaze, currently tainted with pain and, despite the predicament we were in, love. It was my undoing.

I felt a tear making its way down my face, wound my fingers around his and squeezed his hand tight. “I’m not ready to let go yet.”

“Come here.” He ordered gruffly, pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I hugged him back and held on tight, as if it would magically make everything right again. “I love you.”

“I know,” I whispered back, “I love you, too.”

“But I won’t chase you.” He said determinedly.

“I know that, too.” I said and I smiled a little to myself. Mission accomplished, right?

I don’t remember who initiated it, but our arms gradually loosened from around each other, until they fell altogether. And in the silence and awkwardness that ensued, we didn’t have any options but to walk back to Khaled’s apartment. We made idle chatter on the way back, no time like the present to start acting like acquaintances. He said he would go back to Kuwait in two days to pack his things and say his good byes so he could relocate as his father had already arranged for an apartment for him, knowing instinctively he’d take the job. And why wouldn’t he? He asked if he could see me when I got back there, I told him it wouldn’t be wise of us and he readily agreed.

He hugged me one last time outside Khaled’s door, “If you ever need anything-” he started.

“I know.” I said, interrupting him. But we both knew I wouldn’t reach out to him for any reasons, it was difficult enough as it is.

“Take care, kiddo.” he said with that crooked grin I came to love.

Strangers. We should live our lives as complete strangers from now on, there’s no reason for me to be affected by his “kiddo”. I smiled back one final time and entered the apartment. Mya had already left, we must’ve been gone for longer than we thought. I found Khaled sitting on the counter and I walked over to him and sat beside him. He pushed a pint of ice cream and a spoon in my direction and I accepted without preamble and dug into it.

I found my voice a couple of spoonfuls later and asked him, “How did you know?”

He reached out, put his arms around me and simply stated, “I know you.”

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Foolish Games.. (24)

“I love how suddenly everyone makes ‘the best cupcakes ever’ like they didn’t come right out of a Betty Crocker mix!” Mya said as we sat on the kitchen counter watching Khaled make chicken nuggets.

“I know, right? Like it took some divine magical ability for them to combine water, eggs and oil into a bowl with the dry ingredients and mix!” I replied in annoyance as I swiped a few fries from the plate next to Khaled.

“I know!” She exclaimed as grabbed a few herself.

“Great, now there’s two of them.” Khaled said sarcastically to no one in particular, “I can’t wait for their periods to sync up.”

I giggled as I heard Mya reply with yet another threat to pour the hot oil down his back if he didn’t shut up.

“Really, your obsession with BDSM is getting a little out of hand.” He replied dryly. “You might wanna tone it down a bit.”

“HA! Never!” She answered, “What’s taking you so long? I’m starving, I haven’t eaten since breakfast!” she added dramatically.

“You were munching on jellies when I called you after class.”

“Okay but I haven’t had anything since then!” She conceded with a pout.

“I had lunch with you!” He reminded her, “I sat across the table watching you practically inhale your cheeseburger.”

Her eyes widened in shock, “That was THREE hours ago! Are you insane? That doesn’t count!”

He shook his head, gave up trying to reason with her and turned his attention back to our dinner. I saw him smile to himself as he moved the food around the pan and couldn’t help but feel a smile spread on my own face, too. I genuinely couldn’t remember another time when he seemed so happy with anyone and I’ve seen the parade of his girlfriends ever since he discovered that girls didn’t have cooties. This was different, I could hardly believe he was the same guy head over heels for Haifa months earlier.

“So did you guys have fun?” he asked us.

“Surprisingly, yes. Even though she refused to stop singing ‘London Calling’ the entire time and jumped up and down while the bus was moving when the tour guide pointed out the studio where Hendrix recorded Purple Haze. Even though she kept eying the only other Arabic man warily whenever he shifted his eyes. Even though she stopped paying attention when it started raining and tilted her head all the way back chanting “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” repeatedly. Even though-”

“That’s enough already!” I cut him off. “You can’t blame me for the rain thing, I live in Kuwait. God knows when I’m gonna see that much of it again!” I justified. “Besides, you completely lost your right to complain about anything when you hauled your ass on a plane and came all the way down here just to see me.”

Khaled’s head suddenly snapped up and he faced 3azeez. “You didn’t tell her?” he asked in an accusatory tone.

3azeez’s warning look was received a little late by Khaled who stood there with his arms crossed, waiting for an answer.

I felt the smile I had plastered on my face earlier wavering as my heart started beating at a frenzied pace. My mind immediately jumped to a thousand different conclusions in those few silent moments. I tried pulling it back to the present situation but my efforts were unheeded as I found myself contemplating the possibilities. Was he in trouble? Is he sick? I pushed the fact that he lied to me to the back of my head momentarily, forced myself to remain calm and keep the nervousness out of my voice as I took a deep breath and asked, “Didn’t tell me what?”

My gaze shifted between them and I took in their contrasting expressions from Khaled’s angry one to 3azeez’s pained one. I glanced at Mya’s direction to find her deeply absorbed with her fingernails, not able to look me in the eyes. It dawned on me that I really was the last to know. Something was going on, something that obviously concerned me in some way and everyone was privy to the details except me. And just like that, the realization effectively silenced my nerves and fueled my anger.

I turned to 3azeez with hardened eyes, temporarily forgetting my previous worries and asked again in an infinitely more steady tone, carefully enunciating each letter, “Didn’t tell me what?”

I knew I was being irrational but I hated being kept in the dark, my mind was still going into overdrive, exploring all the different prospects of what the secret may be.

He took a deep breath and started to explain, “Ghala, I-”

“No.” I interrupted calmly, surprising myself as much as I surprised him.

He looked up at me quizzically, “No?” he asked as I nodded

“No.” I repeated, taking in his confused expression, “I’m a woman, being fickle is in my nature, sue me.” I added with a shrug. “I’m not sure I want to know yet, I need to think.” I wrapped my scarf around my neck and pulled my boots over my socks, “I’m going for a walk, I’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll come with you.” Khaled volunteered.

“No, don’t. Really, I’m fine! I don’t even know what the big secret is yet, remember?” I asked teasingly, hoping to fool him. “I just need a little air, that’s all.”

“Are you sure?” He asked as he looked intently at my face, looking for signs of insincerity.

“YES!” I answered, “Get back to finishing the food before Mya passes out from hunger.” I added

“THANK YOU!” She cried out with a huge smile.

“I’m coming with you.” 3azeez stated.

“You guys are making me feel like a drama queen, enough! I need a little quiet, that’s all, I don’t need babysitting.” I pointed out

He smiled gently at me, “I know, but I’m not about to let you walk out alone at night in a foreign city. I won’t talk, I promise, not until you’re ready for me to.”

I eyed him suspiciously, not knowing if I should trust him to keep his words. I help up my pinky finger and waited for him to assure me. He rolled his eyes and linked pinkies with me.

“I pinky swore! There, you happy?”

All I could do was smile in response as we walked out together in perfect silence. It wasn’t deafening, it wasn’t heavy with accusations, it wasn’t uneasy. It was exactly what I needed it to be, comforting. I didn’t even think of what he had to inevitably tell me. I cleared my mind and concentrated on the feeling of the icy night air calming me down.

True to his words, he didn’t speak a single world as he walked with me, following me unquestioningly. I rubbed my hands together at one point and he silently took them into his own and warmed them up. I walked into the supermarket to buy junk food and he mutely shadowed me, not uttering a single syllable. I walked into a pharmacy and dumped condoms and various other birth control items into a basket, just to see if he can maintain his silence. He laughed, put everything back and forcefully ushered me out.

I lost all sense of time, I had no idea how long we were walking for. I only remember my legs finally giving out and collapsing on the nearest bench with 3azeez soundlessly following suit. The subject couldn’t be avoided much longer.

“You didn’t come here for me.” I stated. We’ve been walking in silence for so long, the sound of my voice was foreign to my own ears.

“I did. The radio was on when I was driving back home after I dropped you off the day before you left and that song you like by The Script came on. I couldn’t even hear the lyrics, all I could hear was your voice screeching “I’m not moviiiing” at the top of your lungs and I couldn’t stop smiling. I knew I could wait out the two weeks but I didn’t want to.” He paused to take a deep breath, “I wanted to be with you.” He added simply.

I bit back the smile tugging relentlessly on the corners of my mouth, instinctively knowing there was more to his explanation than that. “But?”

“I told my parents I was going to visit a friend there and my dad told me about this job at his friend‘s firm. It’s weird, it’s an entry-level type of thing, but it’s actually challenging! It pays twice as much as I’m making now and I wouldn’t care if it paid half as much. It’s really interesting and the thing is, they’re setting up a branch in Kuwait in two years.” he paused to gauge my reaction and continued, “So my dad figured I could work there for now and his friend guaranteed him I’ll have a spot at the Kuwaiti branch when it opens up.”

My heart sank with every word he spoke. Maybe I should’ve let the silence drag on a while longer, I certainly wasn’t prepared for this. I put on my brightest smile and feigned happiness for him. I knew I would be eventually but not that moment, not today. “Mabrook! It seems like a great opportunity, I‘m sure you‘re gonna kick some major English ass!” I said as enthusiastically as I could and looked down to hide what I’m sure was a shattered expression.

“I didn’t accept the job.” he clarified, “Yet.”

My had snapped up and I met his eyes, “What? Why not? You seem really excited about it..”

“A couple of months ago, I would’ve jumped at the opportunity without as much as blinking an eye. Now, however, I have more than myself to think about.” he said as he locked eyes with me, daring me to blink.

Then it all became clearer and I checked the impulse to run in the opposite direction. “Me?” I asked tentatively and he nodded in response. Alarm bells started sounding off in my head, this was not happening.

“Yes, you.” he answered. “There’s no way I can make this decision without involving you, I told you time and again, I’m serious about this, about us. But I’m not silly enough to pretend we can make this long distance thing work.”

I didn’t know what to reply, it was a lot to take in, to put it mildly. I opted for the playing dumb routine and asked, “What are you saying?”

He took one of my hands and pressed a kiss onto the palm and held on to it. “I’m saying I love you. I’m saying I’m happy to stay in Kuwait with you and decline the job offer, but I need reassurance in return. I know I’m asking you for a lot, but I need to know if you think there’s a future for us. It’s only been a few months, but there’s no doubt in my mind, I’m in it for the long haul. Question is, are you?”

I blinked back the tears searing the back of my eyelids, seeking release. Cleared my throat and said the only thing I could, “No.”

Friday, August 14, 2009

Foolish Games.. (23)

I know, I know, I'm sorry *pout* don't hate me! Finals in two days, so I had to post. Also, a very persuasive letter from Carpe Diem forced me to finish this post so voila!;p I didn't proofread, I have a million past exams to read through *sigh* let me know if you find any mistakes, yes? It's very rushed, I sorry!:( Love you guys :*


"And I want French toast and chocolate chip pancakes with vanilla ice cream and hash browns and cinnamon waffles and.." I trailed off as I continued my perusal of the menu. The breakfast I ordered back at the hotel was long forgotten after 3azeez's unexpected arrival. We ended up at some diner with Khaled and his new girlfriend, who turned out to be pretty cool, I quickly let go of any reservations I might've had before.

"Is she gonna eat all that?" 3azeez asked Khaled incredulously, I stifled a giggle at his bewildered expression.

"Nope." He answered.

"Aaand milkless cereal.. Actually, could I possibly get chocolate milk instead? Thank you!" I flashed a smile at the flustered waitress.

She smiled back uneasily and turned to Mya, "What will you be having, miss?" She asked politely.

"What she said sounds good, I'll have the same!"

"The cereal part?" She ventured hopefully.

"Psh no, all of it!" She corrected, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to eat that much for breakfast.

I looked up to see 3azeez's gaze darting back and forth between me and Mya, then finally settling on Khaled, seeking assistance.

"And she won't be eating all that either." He clarified with a wry inflection in his voice. "Two coffees please." He added to the waitress who grabbed the menus and scampered off quickly before we think of anything else.

"So how does this work?" 3azeez asked, referring to the huge breakfast we just ordered.

"Well," He started as the waitress quickly came back with out cereal, "They'll both finish their cereals.. Ghala will take a bite or two out of everything before announcing she's full and she can't possibly stuff anymore in her mouth.. Mya will give it a little more effort than that but will also be full in 5 bites or so after that and she'll ask if she can undo the top button of her shorts." He said as he rolled his eyes.

"Are you calling me fat?" She asked with her mouth full of cereal and pointing the spoon threateningly at him.

"Not at all, babes." He answered sincerely and she eyed him carefully for a few moments before going back to happily munching on her cereal.

"What happens to the rest of the food?"

"Ah, well at that point, Ghala will turn to us and beg us to finish it all, saying something like, "Think of all the poor children in Africa!"" He said in a voice that was supposed to be an imitation of mine. "And Mya would say something like-"

3azeez interrupted him, "Let me guess, "Let them eat cake!"? Close enough?"

"Haha, no, more like "Let them starve!" Isn't that right?" He asked her, smiling down at her affectionately.

"Meh," She answered with a shrug, neither agreeing or disagreeing.


We parted ways with Mya and Khaled, who had classes to get to and were walking aimlessly down the street, blissfully unaware of our surroundings and just happy to be together. Two days apart seemed much longer than they actually were. This news wasn't received well by me, not at all.

"What do you want to do first?" He asked as he reached out for my hand.

I chose that particular moment to fix my hair, "Hmm, I want to make phone calls from the red phone booth things."

He started laughing and immediately stopped when he saw my unsmiling face, "Are you serious?" He asked as he reached for my hand again.

"Yes, I'm serious!" I replied as I lightly smacked his arm. "It's just something I've always wanted to do." I added with a shrug.

"And who are you gonna call?" he reached out and put his arms around my waist this time. Dammit. This one's going to be hard to get out of.

I twirled out of his arms and spun myself around a few times, "I don't know, I'll think of something. Oh my God, can you believe we're actually here together?" I squealed a little and looked back to see if he bought my act. No such luck.

"What's wrong?"

Busted. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? You've been flinching away from any form of contact between us, am I missing something?"

How do I go about this? Don't touch me? Nah, too rude. I would appreciate it if you didn't touch me? Mm, too formal. Maybe I can do it Emperor Kuzco style? Sort of like "No touchy" Or-

"Ghala? You still here?" He asked as he waved his hand in front of my face, effectively pulling me back into the current situation.

"Yeah, what's up?" I answered brightly.

"Explanation..?" He said, refreshing my memory.

"Oh right! Sorry. Guess I just have to come out with it, yeah?" I started, "Me and PDA, we don't mesh well? I'm uncomfortable with it, yeah. Uncomfortable." I nodded for emphasis and looked up to gauge his reaction.

"That's all?" He said, smiling.

I wasn't sure what he meant by that, "And my lips go insanely pouty after I eat red chili peppers?"

He laughed and repeatedly pulled down strands of my hair and watched them bounce back up, "Since you have such a strong aversion to being touched, I guess I'll just have to stick to pulling your hair." He teased, "That should help you get over those PDA issues, don't you think?"

I rummaged through the contents of my bag until I found a pencil and secured my hair in a bun. I turned to face him and smirked.

"I don't have "issues" as you so eloquently put it, I just think it's fine for us to be all gross and lovey dovey on our own time but it's completely unnecessary to showcase it for the entire world to see! I'm secure enough in our relationship to not need that type of public validation.." I looked up to see his amused expression, "Okay fine, I have issues." I conceded with a scowl.

"Come here." He invited as he held his arms open.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Did you hear anything I said in the past five minutes?!" I demanded.

"Imbala, I've just chosen to disregard it, that's all." He replied and waited patiently.

"What makes you so sure I'm going to hug you?" I asked, baffled at his certainty.

"Because, I came a the way to London for you. You wouldn't deny me the pleasure of having you in my arms, would you?" He answered with a disarming smile. Dammit.

I made my way over to him, all the while mumbling complaints under my breath and walked into his arms as they closed around me and pulled me in closer. I made no effort to hug him back, I was just happy to be standing there, inhaling his intoxicating scent and secretly smiling into the fabric of his jacket.

"See? That wasn't so bad, now was it?" He asked rhetorically as he let go and kissed the top of my head.

"I wanna go on the tour bus thingies!" I said as I pouted, "I was going to yesterday, but then I noticed a scary looking arab guy buying a ticket, so I changed my mind and went shopping instead!" I complained.

He looked at me incredulously and shook his head, "Hatha w you're an arab! What are the foreigners supposed to think?" He chastised.

"I can't help it!" I defended, "He was covering his face retardedly with his scarf and he was really skinny but had a huge jacket thing on, it could've been loaded with explosives for all I know! And he had a beanie on. You know how I feel about those."

He laughed at my deductions, "Ya3ni may9eer bardan? You had to skip to terrorism?"

I glared at him, "I'm telling you, he had terrorist written all over him! And he bought a ticket for one, who does that?!"

"You were going to!" He exclaimed.

He had a point there, but I wasn't about to let him win. "It's different, I had my reasons!"

"And isn't there the slightest possibility that he may have had his reasons too?" He asked in a horribly logical manner.

"Yes, I suppose he could have." I conceded, "If those reasons included him blowing up the bus."

He sighed in exasperation, "Then please explain to me why we haven't heard anything on the news about a terrorist attack on a tour bus?"

Dammit. I couldn't weasel my way out of this one without employing some good old fashioned phrases I picked up in the third grade.

"Oo you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I retorted.

"That doesn't make any sense!" He cried out.

"You don't make any sense!" I shot back.

I took a step back as his expression turned murderous. Oops. He closed the gap between us, tilted my head back and kissed me. I pulled away quick and took a step back.

"What was that?" I asked, surprised.

"That was the most effective method I know of shutting you up that doesn't include physical violence." He answered. "I forgot how infuriating you could be."

I forgot to feign shock and act offended and retaliated in kind, "Well I forgot how tall you are. Could we please sit down for a bit? My neck's starting to hurt from constantly looking up."

He obliged and pulled me down on the bench next to him. He took out a cigarette, lit it and watched me silently as I took it out of his hand, put it out and placed it in a nearby rubbish bin. I casually walked back to my place, sat down next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. He was surprised by my voluntary actions and tentatively wrapped an arm around me. I smiled, leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"You're not really mad at me, are you?" I asked.

"Nah, I can't be. I kinda love you, if you hadn't noticed." He said with a lopsided grin.

I looked down demurely and played with a button on his jacket, "And just because I don't feel like throwing up in your mouth when you say things like that, I think I might kinda love you too. You know, or whatever." I replied with a smile of my own.

He removed his arm from around me, took my hand away from his jacket, pressed a kiss into my palm and pulled me up.

"Yalla baby, we have a terrorist-free tour bus to catch."

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I Didn't Mean To Take Up All Your Sweet Time..

I'll give it right back to ya one of these days hahaha ♪

Yes, I find it necessary to sing along with the laughter in songs as well :$ KAIFI! For those of you who aren't familiar with the song, SHAME ON YOU!

I mean, It's Voodoo Child - Jimi Hendrix♥ Amazing riffs. Word.

I can't concentrate walla I really do not KNOW how to study, please don't ask me how that's even possible, I just don't! I have no attention span whatsoever when it comes to holding a book/paper/whatever and understanding ot acknowleging that I read any of the information. I think I'm going to resort to sleeping with the book under my pillow in hopes of magically absorbing the info into my brain by the end of the semester. Thank you, Noodles. Seriously summer semester is shite, I think I can almost see my brain cells escaping from my head and dying midair.

Oh, Oh, and I remembered why I don't let myself wear shorts much, my thighs are too distracting! Not on the "Fudge, I have sexy thighs!" sense, noo! They just look so cleaaan.. and such a good place for me to draw on :( So I'm "studying" for my quiz, right? And I read about Spot Markets (ftw?) so I have my pen in my hand, underlining the definition and any other words that seem important and it goes something like this..

"Spot markets are terms that refer to markets where assets are being bought or sold for OMG I WANT TO DRAW ON MY THIGHS!"

Needless to say, after that I abandoned my handout and focused on my canvas. When I was convinced that I had sufficiently graffiti-d my thighs enough, I uncross my legs and stretch them to see how it looks like from a different angle (don't ask, you don't wanna know *rolls eyes*). THEN, I realize that my legs are strangely long for my height? I'm not short or anything, I'm like 165 cms, even though the pharmacy insists I'm 160, mu kaifkum? yes? kthxbye. But I digress, anyway! Yeah, so I walk about my room shwaya, hiking up my shorts even more in hopes of discovering that it's all in my head, but no! So I decided to study, satasfied with my newfound discovery and then I uncross my legs, again -.- And then I start wondering how high up my legs can go? so I spend half an hour, give or take, trying to hook my right foot behind my neck so that it rests on my left shoulder? Naturally, every time it ends up with me rolling all the way back and dissolving into fits of giggles -.- I can't stop laughing, seriously, what's going on?

People should not post on saturday.. cuz I will ditch studying and read your updates instead. But please continue doing so anyway, you guys rock ♥

I want a baby dinosaur like the ones in Ice Age 3? So cute, I die! I keep saying it and getting the response of "THEY'RE EXTINCT" from my sister.. Inzain, I still want them? God, people *rolls eyes*

I just realized I should've posted this on my other blog, it is rambling after all -.-

I apologize to anyone who read this thinking it's related in any way to my story *looks around* but secretly, I have the desire to point at you and go "kaaaaaaaaaaak!" Yes, I will resort to kaaaak-ing, I've been hanging around Kuwaiti guys far too long. I'm not complaining, they're cool, they're cool.. Oh did you guys know I'm not Kuwaiti? :O

I don't even know why I'm sharing that, I don't wanna get up and change. My quiz is at 8, so that ship has sailed, I hope my friends don't read this til they get home.. I wonder if I can use the whole "I overslept!" excuse on them? Problem is, they know I don't sleep! I will not underestimate your intelligence and lie to you guys, I love you guys *flicks halo back in place*

W bas? Yes? Oooh new blog? Yes? I feel all lonely being the only follower, so read and FOLLOW:@

I love you guys! *insert huge goofy grin here*

Thanks for reading? Or whatever?

Hahaha I just got a message from Noodles saying she might not do the quiz either.. aaaand I'm out of the doghouse! YAY! I change anyway, class at 9.20 -.-

Peace! :*

Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration