Foolish Games.. (24)

“I love how suddenly everyone makes ‘the best cupcakes ever’ like they didn’t come right out of a Betty Crocker mix!” Mya said as we sat on the kitchen counter watching Khaled make chicken nuggets.

“I know, right? Like it took some divine magical ability for them to combine water, eggs and oil into a bowl with the dry ingredients and mix!” I replied in annoyance as I swiped a few fries from the plate next to Khaled.

“I know!” She exclaimed as grabbed a few herself.

“Great, now there’s two of them.” Khaled said sarcastically to no one in particular, “I can’t wait for their periods to sync up.”

I giggled as I heard Mya reply with yet another threat to pour the hot oil down his back if he didn’t shut up.

“Really, your obsession with BDSM is getting a little out of hand.” He replied dryly. “You might wanna tone it down a bit.”

“HA! Never!” She answered, “What’s taking you so long? I’m starving, I haven’t eaten since breakfast!” she added dramatically.

“You were munching on jellies when I called you after class.”

“Okay but I haven’t had anything since then!” She conceded with a pout.

“I had lunch with you!” He reminded her, “I sat across the table watching you practically inhale your cheeseburger.”

Her eyes widened in shock, “That was THREE hours ago! Are you insane? That doesn’t count!”

He shook his head, gave up trying to reason with her and turned his attention back to our dinner. I saw him smile to himself as he moved the food around the pan and couldn’t help but feel a smile spread on my own face, too. I genuinely couldn’t remember another time when he seemed so happy with anyone and I’ve seen the parade of his girlfriends ever since he discovered that girls didn’t have cooties. This was different, I could hardly believe he was the same guy head over heels for Haifa months earlier.

“So did you guys have fun?” he asked us.

“Surprisingly, yes. Even though she refused to stop singing ‘London Calling’ the entire time and jumped up and down while the bus was moving when the tour guide pointed out the studio where Hendrix recorded Purple Haze. Even though she kept eying the only other Arabic man warily whenever he shifted his eyes. Even though she stopped paying attention when it started raining and tilted her head all the way back chanting “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” repeatedly. Even though-”

“That’s enough already!” I cut him off. “You can’t blame me for the rain thing, I live in Kuwait. God knows when I’m gonna see that much of it again!” I justified. “Besides, you completely lost your right to complain about anything when you hauled your ass on a plane and came all the way down here just to see me.”

Khaled’s head suddenly snapped up and he faced 3azeez. “You didn’t tell her?” he asked in an accusatory tone.

3azeez’s warning look was received a little late by Khaled who stood there with his arms crossed, waiting for an answer.

I felt the smile I had plastered on my face earlier wavering as my heart started beating at a frenzied pace. My mind immediately jumped to a thousand different conclusions in those few silent moments. I tried pulling it back to the present situation but my efforts were unheeded as I found myself contemplating the possibilities. Was he in trouble? Is he sick? I pushed the fact that he lied to me to the back of my head momentarily, forced myself to remain calm and keep the nervousness out of my voice as I took a deep breath and asked, “Didn’t tell me what?”

My gaze shifted between them and I took in their contrasting expressions from Khaled’s angry one to 3azeez’s pained one. I glanced at Mya’s direction to find her deeply absorbed with her fingernails, not able to look me in the eyes. It dawned on me that I really was the last to know. Something was going on, something that obviously concerned me in some way and everyone was privy to the details except me. And just like that, the realization effectively silenced my nerves and fueled my anger.

I turned to 3azeez with hardened eyes, temporarily forgetting my previous worries and asked again in an infinitely more steady tone, carefully enunciating each letter, “Didn’t tell me what?”

I knew I was being irrational but I hated being kept in the dark, my mind was still going into overdrive, exploring all the different prospects of what the secret may be.

He took a deep breath and started to explain, “Ghala, I-”

“No.” I interrupted calmly, surprising myself as much as I surprised him.

He looked up at me quizzically, “No?” he asked as I nodded

“No.” I repeated, taking in his confused expression, “I’m a woman, being fickle is in my nature, sue me.” I added with a shrug. “I’m not sure I want to know yet, I need to think.” I wrapped my scarf around my neck and pulled my boots over my socks, “I’m going for a walk, I’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll come with you.” Khaled volunteered.

“No, don’t. Really, I’m fine! I don’t even know what the big secret is yet, remember?” I asked teasingly, hoping to fool him. “I just need a little air, that’s all.”

“Are you sure?” He asked as he looked intently at my face, looking for signs of insincerity.

“YES!” I answered, “Get back to finishing the food before Mya passes out from hunger.” I added

“THANK YOU!” She cried out with a huge smile.

“I’m coming with you.” 3azeez stated.

“You guys are making me feel like a drama queen, enough! I need a little quiet, that’s all, I don’t need babysitting.” I pointed out

He smiled gently at me, “I know, but I’m not about to let you walk out alone at night in a foreign city. I won’t talk, I promise, not until you’re ready for me to.”

I eyed him suspiciously, not knowing if I should trust him to keep his words. I help up my pinky finger and waited for him to assure me. He rolled his eyes and linked pinkies with me.

“I pinky swore! There, you happy?”

All I could do was smile in response as we walked out together in perfect silence. It wasn’t deafening, it wasn’t heavy with accusations, it wasn’t uneasy. It was exactly what I needed it to be, comforting. I didn’t even think of what he had to inevitably tell me. I cleared my mind and concentrated on the feeling of the icy night air calming me down.

True to his words, he didn’t speak a single world as he walked with me, following me unquestioningly. I rubbed my hands together at one point and he silently took them into his own and warmed them up. I walked into the supermarket to buy junk food and he mutely shadowed me, not uttering a single syllable. I walked into a pharmacy and dumped condoms and various other birth control items into a basket, just to see if he can maintain his silence. He laughed, put everything back and forcefully ushered me out.

I lost all sense of time, I had no idea how long we were walking for. I only remember my legs finally giving out and collapsing on the nearest bench with 3azeez soundlessly following suit. The subject couldn’t be avoided much longer.

“You didn’t come here for me.” I stated. We’ve been walking in silence for so long, the sound of my voice was foreign to my own ears.

“I did. The radio was on when I was driving back home after I dropped you off the day before you left and that song you like by The Script came on. I couldn’t even hear the lyrics, all I could hear was your voice screeching “I’m not moviiiing” at the top of your lungs and I couldn’t stop smiling. I knew I could wait out the two weeks but I didn’t want to.” He paused to take a deep breath, “I wanted to be with you.” He added simply.

I bit back the smile tugging relentlessly on the corners of my mouth, instinctively knowing there was more to his explanation than that. “But?”

“I told my parents I was going to visit a friend there and my dad told me about this job at his friend‘s firm. It’s weird, it’s an entry-level type of thing, but it’s actually challenging! It pays twice as much as I’m making now and I wouldn’t care if it paid half as much. It’s really interesting and the thing is, they’re setting up a branch in Kuwait in two years.” he paused to gauge my reaction and continued, “So my dad figured I could work there for now and his friend guaranteed him I’ll have a spot at the Kuwaiti branch when it opens up.”

My heart sank with every word he spoke. Maybe I should’ve let the silence drag on a while longer, I certainly wasn’t prepared for this. I put on my brightest smile and feigned happiness for him. I knew I would be eventually but not that moment, not today. “Mabrook! It seems like a great opportunity, I‘m sure you‘re gonna kick some major English ass!” I said as enthusiastically as I could and looked down to hide what I’m sure was a shattered expression.

“I didn’t accept the job.” he clarified, “Yet.”

My had snapped up and I met his eyes, “What? Why not? You seem really excited about it..”

“A couple of months ago, I would’ve jumped at the opportunity without as much as blinking an eye. Now, however, I have more than myself to think about.” he said as he locked eyes with me, daring me to blink.

Then it all became clearer and I checked the impulse to run in the opposite direction. “Me?” I asked tentatively and he nodded in response. Alarm bells started sounding off in my head, this was not happening.

“Yes, you.” he answered. “There’s no way I can make this decision without involving you, I told you time and again, I’m serious about this, about us. But I’m not silly enough to pretend we can make this long distance thing work.”

I didn’t know what to reply, it was a lot to take in, to put it mildly. I opted for the playing dumb routine and asked, “What are you saying?”

He took one of my hands and pressed a kiss onto the palm and held on to it. “I’m saying I love you. I’m saying I’m happy to stay in Kuwait with you and decline the job offer, but I need reassurance in return. I know I’m asking you for a lot, but I need to know if you think there’s a future for us. It’s only been a few months, but there’s no doubt in my mind, I’m in it for the long haul. Question is, are you?”

I blinked back the tears searing the back of my eyelids, seeking release. Cleared my throat and said the only thing I could, “No.”